babble
Saturday, January 11, 2003
Gather 'round, kiddies. Pull up a chair, kick off your shoes, grab a mug of hot cocoa (or a hot toddy) and make yourself comfy. Auntie Kat is going to tell you a little story.
Once upon a time, long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away (ok, it was Phoenix), a wee lass called Kat fell in love with a gallant young prince who rode up on a white horse (ok, it was a red Vespa) and stole her heart (ok, she doesn't really have a heart). Kat and the Prince spent many a day together, whiling away the hours talking and boning and eating fried foods. It was all very lovely and shiny like all new love should be, and one day Kat and the Prince decided to do what all young couples in love do - they shacked up together.
Kat and the Prince had a rollicking good time in their fancy yet humble new abode. They said, "Wow! Now that we can be alone every single day, without our parents around, we can bone all the time!" So Kat and the Prince threw caution and birth control to the wind with that mistaken youthful certainty that they were invincible and invulnerable to the consequences of their actions, and boned away confidently with imagined impunity.
Then one day Kat woke up with a curious feeling in her stomach. "Gosh," she thought, "whatever could be the matter?" Then she promptly ran to the bathroom and puked her brains and perhaps several other vital organs out. The Prince was awakened by the soft and soothing sounds of her retching, and came into the bathroom to inquire about her well-being.
"Kat," he said, "What the fuck?"
She replied, ever so sweetly despite the burning sensation in her throat, "I have no fucking idea." Of course, Kat and the Prince had a sinking feeling that they had exactly the right fucking idea. So our fearless Kat downed some baking soda and water (which is a magical cure-all for stomach ailments, by the way) and hauled her youthfully perky ass over to her job at the local Target store. She had a tasty, well-prepared meal at the hot dog stand prior to her shift, and immediately regurgitated it, as many people would. However, she knew this wasn't just a reaction to the questionably edible phenomenon known as the hot dog. She went home early from her shift and rode on the white horse/Vespa to the drugstore to purchase a test to determine the ailment that was causing her incessant vomiting. Upon being told that the local Walgreens didn't stock malaria tests, she purchased the next best thing - a pregnancy test.
When the Prince returned from his job at the place that Kat can't remember the name of anymore, she showed him the results of the test. Sure enough, Kat and the Prince were now expecting a mini-Kat or mini-Prince. Kat and the Prince spent the rest of the night staring blankly off into space as they contemplated what the fuck to do. And, just like a prime-time drama where everything's left up in the air, I'm going to say...
TO BE CONTINUED.
babbled by Kat @ 6:51:00 PM |
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