babble
Thursday, January 30, 2003
No matter where I go on the intarweb, I see horrific examples of poor spelling and hideous grammar. I blame the decline of the quality of education in U.S. public schools, the television-as-babysitter phenomenon, and Microsoft, because I like to blame Microsoft needlessly for almost everything.
I know this is a popular pet peeve, one that has been discussed ad nauseum by many, many bloggers. Tough titty. I don't care how many times it has been discussed. It's my party and I'll bitch about spelling and grammar if I want to.
Don't get me wrong - I don't claim to be grammatically perfect in everything that I write. I do love me some run-on sentences, and as evidenced in the first and last parts of this sentence, I also loves me some slang. I'm not kvetching about those types of grammar/style issues, however. I'm talking about simple rules of grammar that people should have learned in the first fucking grade. Here are some of the most common mistakes.
Their vs. they're vs. there
Their: Of or belonging to them. Possessive pronoun.
They're: Contraction of "they are".
There: An adverb meaning "that location". Note similarity to the word "here", which means "this location".
Example of incorrect usage: I like 'N Sync. Their so dreamy. There music really touches my soul. I want to have they're babies.
Example of correct usage: I hate 'N Sync. They're not dreamy at all. Their music makes me want to kill myself. If I go to hell, I expect to see them there, since they obviously sold their souls to become famous.
Your vs. you're
Your: Of or belonging to you. Possessive pronoun.
You're: Contraction of "you are".
Example of incorrect usage: Your so gay. I want to kick you're ass.
Example of correct usage: You're so ignorant. If you type "your gay" one more time, I am going to tell "my gay" to go kick your ass.
Loose vs. lose
Loose: Not tight or confined.
Lose: To be unable to find.
Example of incorrect usage: I always loose my keys.
Example of correct usage: You are a giant fucking loser. Please use spell check.
Web sight vs. Web site
Sight: The ability to see.
Site: A place or location, such as a web site or building site.
Fuck examples: There is no such thing as a Web "sight". Sight is a word that describes your ability to view things that are in front of or near your head via your eyes. It is a Web SITE because the word site refers to a PLACE on the WEB, you dumb fuck.
Balled vs. bawled
Balled: Past tense of "to form into a ball". Also slang term for "fucked", "had sex with", or "screwed the living shit out of". Common 'thug' usage: "ballin'".
Bawled: To cry or sob loudly. Frequently used with modifiers "like a baby" or "like a pussy ass bitch".
Example of incorrect usage: That movie was so sad, I was balling like a baby at the end.
Example of correct usage: You were BAWLING like a baby, you fucking imbecile. Unless, of course, sad movies cause you to FUCK like a BABY. In that case, you are not only a fucking imbecile, you are a sick bastard and should probably be shot, or at least kicked in the balls. (Note correct usage of the word "balls".)
Duck tape vs. duct tape
There is no such thing as duck tape, unless I am unaware of some veterinary accessory that is used for temporarily holding ducks together after some sort of duck disaster. It is called "duct tape" because its original use was to hold together ducts. If you do not know what a duct is, and that is the reason that you call it "duck tape", please consult your local plumber and/or my dad for a lesson in plumbing and a thorough ass-whipping.
Accept vs. except
Accept: To receive.
Except: Its most common usage is as a preposition meaning "but" or "leaving out". Can also be used as a verb meaning "to leave out".
Example of incorrect usage: I excepted Justin Timberlake's proposal, and we are getting married next June.
Example of correct usage: I would not accept a proposal of anything except an offer of cessation of all singing activities from Justin Timberlake.
There are so many more of these that I could write about them for weeks on end. However, I think I'll stop right now, because I have to go except a shipment of duck tape that I ordered from you're Web sight.
babbled by Kat @ 3:46:00 PM |
|
