babble
Tuesday, February 18, 2003
I would like to let you know, if you are a person who will be asking me to spell my name for you because I am placing an order for a Thai hooker with my credit card, I will be spelling my name using the NATO phonetic alphabet from now on. In fact, I may just use this alphabet for everything I am asked to spell aloud. Not that I'm asked to spell things aloud much anymore, after I lost the Maricopa County regional spelling bee in the sixth grade by misspelling "conscientious", but I have memorized the phonetic alphabet in case a spontaneous spelling bee suddenly breaks out.
This is how you spell my first name:
Kilo Alpha Tango Hotel Lima Echo Echo November.
I don't know about you, but I think Echo Echo November is a great name for a band. I think we'll stick to '80s-style pop, and since I will obviously be the lead singer I will always sport a Flock of Seagulls haircut and/or a permed mullet.
This is how you spell my last name:
Mike Charlie Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo Echo Romeo November India Charlie Kilo Echo Lima.
I think Romeo November should be one of my bandmates. Since Echo Echo November is the name of the band, anyone in the band with the last name "November" has to be either the lead singer (which we've already established is ME) or someone who is and/or used to be married to the lead singer, so I must immediately marry someone that is named Romeo. Also, I must change my last name and force my new husband to adopt it.
We should also have someone in the band named Charlie Kilo, who will quite obviously need to have or obtain a cocaine habit the size of Marlon Brando's ass.
This is how you spell my girlfriend's first name:
Echo Lima India Zulu Alpha Bravo Echo Tango Hotel.
To stress Echo Echo November's commitment to ethnic diversity, our fourth band member will be named India Zulu. She will be a white girl from Ohio, but she will have taken at least one cultural studies class in college.
Tango Hotel should definitely be the first album by Echo Echo November, even though it sounds like it could be the title of a movie starring Bill Pullman. Perhaps the title track could be the theme song to the film. I will insist on receiving an executive producer credit.
Echo Echo November is sure to be a smashing success! Any interested parties with great fashion sense, marginal to mediocre musical talent, and a willingness to marry me and/or do mountains of blow should contact me immediately.
babbled by Kat @ 9:59:00 AM |
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