babble
Tuesday, March 04, 2003
So, I watched this show, Married by America, last night.
Yeah, I know. "Reality teevee". Not really up my alley. I never, ever watch this crap. However, I peripherally know someone who was on it last night, so his roommate and a group of people who know him all gathered 'round the television that we brought to the bar (no, I'm not kidding, we brought our own) and watched the entire two hour mess.
It was like watching a fucking train wreck.
Basically, the rules go like this: there are five contestants, pictured at left. There are five suitors picked out for each of them by some mysterious, behind-the-scenes selection process. Then, three family members or friends of each contestant asks sometimes inane, sometimes relevant questions of the suitors so that they can narrow down the pool of available human meat. They eliminate one suitor immediately, another after a "big secret" is revealed about one of the suitors, and another after some "intense suitor interrogation", which also happens behind the scenes. Then the viewing public is invited to call in and place their votes for one of the remaining suitors. All of this suitor-weeding fun takes place while the contestant is hidden away somewhere with those fancy soundproof headphones on. Next week, the contestants are going to marry the suitor that was picked out for them, without ever having seen them before.
I'm telling you, this is a sign of the coming apocalypse.
Now, our man Jack got voted off at the end of last night's episode, which means that I never, ever have to watch this mindless drivel again. While I'm happy about that, I don't know why the gay pirate guy who was the crazy blonde contestant's friend decided to vote Jack off the show. I mean, they picked a fucking used car salesman over our guy. What the fuck is that?
While watching the show, we all decided collectively that the only "reality" dating or marriage show we would like to see in the future is one that involves suitors battling to the death in order to win, kind of like a cross between "The Dating Game" and "Ultimate Fighting Championship", but with more blood. Are you listening, Fox?
babbled by Kat @ 8:48:00 AM |
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