babble
Thursday, May 08, 2003
Goals:
I have many goals and aspirations in life, but I really only have three true Ultimate Goals. They are:
1. To become independently wealthy.
2. To be bi-coastal, and I'm not even using that as a euphemism for my wildly unpredictable sexuality. I actually do want to maintain residences in both Los Angeles and New York.
3. To convince the rest of you that my perfectly healthful diet of El Pollo Loco, Balance and/or Zone bars, and single malt whisky is the key to a long and healthy life.
Now, in order to achieve the first of my Ultimate Goals (and I only capitalize them because I feel like achieving these goals is akin to becoming the Ultimate Fighting Champion), I must begin doing things besides just working at my regular job in order to increase my wealth. These things include speaking at more conferences, actually freaking submitting the book proposals I've had dancing around in my pretty little head for the last six months, working on some collaborative projects with friends, and performing weekly ritual sacrifices to Morlock, the Venutian prince of darkness. Some of these activities may require more work than others, but hey, I'm willing to pay my dues in order to become so wealthy that my servants have servants.
I think that the second of my Ultimate Goals ties in quite nicely to my penchant for polyamory. I mean, think about it. All I'll have to do is carry on a relationship with someone in New York and another with someone in Los Angeles. That way, when I am on the other coast, I have someone to take care of whichever palatial estate I have left behind, and I will always have a nice, warm, slightly sweaty bed to come home to. You monogamy buffs can't hold a candle to that shit, yo.
As for the third of my Ultimate Goals, well, I'll just have to ask you to try it. If you are unfortunate enough to live in an area where there are no El Pollo Locos, then you should move to an area that does have them. If that isn't feasible, Boston Market will do in a pinch, but stay away from anything that involves breading. The diet goes like this: have a nice Balance or Zone bar for breakfast, another for lunch, a sensible dinner of tasty marinated chicken breasts and veggies, and then a nice dessert consisting of a fine single malt whisky, preferably one that is from the Islay region, because they're the yummiest ones. They're also best for your goal of a long, healthy life, because they are usually cured with peat smoke, which is like having a whisky that is infused with God's own breath. No, really.
Now that I think about it, I could probably achieve all three of my Ultimate Goals if I just wrote a diet/health book detailing my secret for better health and longevity. And you know I'd get some takers on that polyamory thing if everyone was a little tipsy. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a diet book to write.
babbled by Kat @ 8:42:00 AM |
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