babble
Thursday, May 15, 2003
Straight thuggin':
Yo, what up dawg. I'm a baby giraffe.
Kat has been all busy, what with her car getting attacked by a flying shovel and all this new career shit she's focusing on, so she gave me her login even though I'm a stone cold thug and asked me to write some shit for her. I'm guaranteed to do better than that baby lion did because as you may or may not know, giraffes are born with an excellent command of the English language. We're also really attractive, wealthy, and the boy giraffes are hung like motherfuckers. You should see some of the giraffe wangs I've been checkin' out when my mom isn't paying attention. Dayum.
So anyway, Kat has been telling me that she's all energized about her career again. See, she'd been just chugging along at work, doing her thing, but she wasn't really learning anything new or being Super Kathleen like she used to be. Then she went to that geek conference thing and solved a bunch of people's problems and everyone was all like, "Whoa, she's like, an expert!", and that just lit a fire right under that fine, perky paper-white ass of hers. So now she's off plotting and planning her next steps and that's why she asked me to write for her. Or, it could be that the guy in the cubicle next to hers told her that her typing was distracting, so maybe she just wanted to not type for a while and go over and beat him about the head and shoulders with a shillelagh.
Anyway, enough about that bitch. I want to tell you a little about myself. As you can see, I'm super hot, tall, articulate, and fabulously wealthy, so of course that makes me really interesting. Right now, since I'm still a baby, I don't do much all day except hang out with my mom and look at boy giraffes' wangs, but I have big plans for the future. Since I am one of a long line of jet-setting, internationally famous supermodel giraffes, I plan to use that legacy plus my charm and wit to get me into some exclusive and powerful clubs, like Skull & Bones or the Britney Spears fan club. Then I will utilize my secret knowledge of the inner workings of big corporations and Britney's bra to become the most powerful giraffe this world has ever seen. But for now, I'm content just scoping out other giraffes and gnawing on leaves and shit while I finalize my plot for world domination.
Kat will return shortly after she's sorted through all of her own varied plans for world domination. But trust me, I am so gonna be the boss of her.
babbled by Kat @ 1:43:00 PM |
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