babble
Tuesday, July 22, 2003
Shameless:
Before I launch into my usual tirade of side-splitting hilarity, let me just say that you should go visit Julia and send some good vibes her way.
Today's hilarity will be in the form of a bulleted list, because I like bulleted lists. Plus, I haven't done one of these random fact lists in a while, and I know how much you miss them. Oh, just shut up and play along, buttface.
When someone cuts me off or drive in any other idiotic fashion, I will yell at them. Many times I make up new compound words. Some favorites include "Fucktard" and "Cock-knocking son of a crack whore".
There is a guy in my office named "Rod". I have a really hard time not channeling Beavis and Butthead when I say hi to him in the hall.
When I go to all-nude strip clubs, I determine which genital piercings the naked ladies would be good candidates for.
I carry a small stuffed monkey in my luggage when I travel.
If I had been born a boy, my father would have named me Aloicious Jedediah. I thank {insert deity of your choosing} every day for my lack of penis.
Even though I am a Yankee fan, I secretly want the Red Sox to win a World Series in my lifetime.
Do I think it'll actually happen? No.
Pirates are the new monkeys.
I want this for my birthday.
And this.
I'll settle for this, though.
Or anything from this.
Since this list has turned into a request for presents, I think I'll stop now.
Thank you, everybody. Goodnight.
babbled by Kat @ 11:17:00 AM |
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