babble
Tuesday, September 09, 2003
A bit of insight and a dash of bitterness:
As many of you have fervently hoped, I have returned to my natural state of bitter, caustic misanthropy. To celebrate the departure of any and all optimism from my psyche, I will answer these interview questions from Scott, and give you some insight into my soul. Or, just give you some sarcastic, bitchy comments. Either way, I'm sure hilarity will ensue.
1. We’re all BIG fans of the current president. How long would you swear off intimate contact with another human being to guarantee he would not be re-elected?
Well, seeing as how I'm currently a freewheelin' single gal, and the only person I am remotely interested in having intimate contact with lives really far away, and I have a pocket rocket and an unlimited supply of batteries and a huge stack of porn, I'd say... 6 months. I've gone without the sexin' for longer than that (shocking, I know!) but it's just fucking inhuman to expect someone to not need intimate contact with another human for extended periods of time. Even if they do have a lot of porn and sex toys. And even if it will guarantee that our dubiously elected "leader" wouldn't steal the Presidency again get re-elected.
2. In my experience, relationships with people you meet in a club don’t really go very far (past the bedroom, anyway). Has that been your experience, too?
Yessir, I agree. All of my long-term relationships have been with someone I either met at work or through friends. I briefly dated someone I met in a club when I was, like, 18 or something, and he was hot as all fuck, but after a few weeks we realized we had nothing in common except our bitchen taste in music. And our taste in pirate shirts. Ah, goth clubs.
3. If you could live in a T.V. show, which would you choose?
Oh, this is going to be tough. See, when I was a teenager, I used to want to live in Star Trek: TNG, because I had hair that was a very unnatural color and I thought it would be cool to have me be a character from a planet where all the women had fuchsia hair, or something. Plus, Picard is BAD ASS. But now, I'd have to say Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, because Mariska Hargitay is hot and Ice T is BAD ASS and I would totally like to run around beating the living fuck out of rapists. That would rule.
4. What are your five favorite albums (CDs) of all time?
Sweet mother of fuck. That is the goddamned hardest question I have ever heard, followed closely by "Don't you love me anymore?" and "Where are all the white women at?" How am I supposed to pick only five? Gah.
Okay, here goes, in no particular order:
- Queens of the Stone Age, Songs for the Deaf. It's new, yes, but I am so fucking in love with that album that I would fucking marry it if I could. I am not even kidding.
- Guns 'n' Roses, Appetite for Destruction. The soundtrack to my 8th grade year. I even teased my hair like Axl's. (No, you can't see pictures. I destroyed all evidence.) I still rock out to it when I'm driving around in my goddamned yuppiemobile.
- Bauhaus, Mask. I love pretty much the entire Bauhaus discography, because I am still a fucking goth at heart, but this album has my two all-time favorite Bauhaus songs on it - "Mask" and "Passion of Lovers".
- N.W.A., Straight Outta Compton. The soundtrack to my freshman year in high school. Me and my friends (all of us total white-bread honkies) used to drive around listening to this and passing around a bottle of Bacardi 151. How the fuck I survived that high school to become the successful closet-goth pseudo-yuppie I am today is beyond me. But I still love this album. Shit, "Straight Outta Compton" and "Gangsta Gangsta" are always in my playlist.
- Soundtrack, Hedwig and the Angry Inch. It's just goddamned fantastic.
I have so many other favorites that making this list physically hurt me. I hope you're happy, Scott.
5. Much like a Cold-War thriller from the 1980s, we have accidentally blown up a Russian / North Korean / Pakistani city and killed over a million people. As retribution, we have to blow up an American city (of similar size) without telling the people of that city. You’re in charge of making the choice. So, which city gets it?
Wow, this one's hard. I mean, a Russian/North Korean/Pakistani city is not only geographically impossible but also ethnically diverse, so we will need to take that into consideration. Also, I can't blow up any cities where people I love live, so that eliminates a whole fuckload of cities. Like, if people I love didn't live in Phoenix, I would totally blow it up, because it's just a big pile of hot dirt. I can't blow up New York because I fucking love that city. I live in L.A., so I'm not going to blow myself up, plus we are 9+ million people strong, so we're too big for this shit, dawg. I'd blow up Memphis - it's the right size and all, but there's the Elvis factor. So, I guess I'll have to go with Hartford, Connecticut.
Hmm, that wasn't that hard after all.
In conclusion, if any of you bitches want to be interviewed by me, post a comment and I'll make up 5 really fucking hard questions that will make you cry. It'll RULE.
babbled by Kat @ 10:48:00 AM |
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