babble
Wednesday, September 03, 2003
Hand in hand is the only way to land:
Hi, I'm a baby crocodile.
I know I'm not all fluffy and fuzzy like the other baby animal guest bloggers that Kat recruits to further her evil plans, but get over it. A baby animal doesn't have to be fuzzy to be cute. I mean, just look at me, I'm fucking adorable. Pretty foxy, too, if I do say so myself. All the other baby crocs are hot for my bod.
So you may be wondering why Kat asked me to guest blog for her. She says it's because she's really busy with some project at work or something, but I think it's actually because she ran out of shit to talk about. I mean, the bitch was getting pretty boring lately. Look at that last post. The biggest paragraph was about some ghey philosophy class that she was thinking of dropping. Who the fuck cares about that shit? (She dropped it, by the way.) Remember way back in the day when she used to write about masturbation and fucking all the time? God, those were the days.
Actually, maybe she's been so boring lately because she's been doing a bunch of work on her loft. See, her ex-girlfriend had a lot of furniture and rugs and stuff, and when she moved out the place was hella empty. It kind of looks cool like that, but she really needed to liven up the place with some color, you know? She's been slowly working on remedying that situation, because how the fuck is she supposed to have a den of debauchery if all that's going on is white walls, grey floors, and a beige sofa? Anyway, this weekend she went to IKEA with some sassy people and whaddya know, the sexiest writer she knows got her a really beautiful Persian rug as a birthday present! Now that I mention it, I think that's why she hasn't been updating her fucking blog - she's been too busy admiring her rug. As a baby crocodile with discerning taste, I can assure you that it's a lovely rug and it's definitely worthy of her attention. As a baby crocodile with evil intentions, I can also assure you that it is large enough that she could roll up a dead body in it, and the colors are such that the bloodstains really wouldn't show, and as we all know those are the two qualities that every aspiring evil overlord should look for in a rug.
Now that I have fulfilled my obligation and updated this lazy twat's blog for her, I have to get back to what I was doing - biting the living fuck out of this dude's hand. TTFN!
babbled by Kat @ 10:02:00 AM |
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