babble
Monday, November 17, 2003
Cheer up, emo kid:
Hi, I'm a baby jaguar.
Kat had a shitty weekend so she asked me to step in and write something. I don't know fucking anything about writing so I am warning you right now that this might totally suck. The one thing I do know is that it is pronounced JAG-WAHR not JAG-YOU-ER (unless you are English) so just fucking say it right from now on, okay? Okay.
So, Kat went to Phoenix this weekend to visit her grandma. The grandma parts of the weekend were pretty cool and her grandma said all kinds of really nice stuff that made Kat almost cry but she couldn't cry because then her grandma would cry too and that would make Kat cry more and then WE WOULD ALL DROWN IN THE ENSUING SEA OF TEARS. So she held back for the good of all humanity. The grandma time was also a little depressing though, because even though Kat's grandma is Super Grandma™ and has pretty much totally recovered from the stroke she had in May, her memory is slipping a little and she asks the same questions over and over and tells the same stories a few times each day and that made Kat a little sad because her grandma has always been so strong and now she seems really fragile. She told me all this and I was like, "Chin up, Kat, cherish the time you have with her," but I don't think she understood me because she just said, "Aww you're so cute and fuzzy!" and scratched me on my chin. Don't get me wrong, I like the chin scratching but nobody fucking takes me seriously and that can get a little annoying. So stop telling me I'm cute or you'll get THE CLAWS, beeyotch.
Anyway, since Kat was kinda bummed anyway about some other shit that she doesn't want to talk about so please don't ask, she was really looking forward to spending some time with that Zero Gauge person and sharing good times and saliva. However, Zero Gauge's cell phone was disconnected and since Kat had no other way to get in touch with this person and all of her other friends in Phoenix were either working or out of town or dead, instead of sharing good times and saliva she spent her evenings in her hotel room talking online. Yes, it's pathetic and I told her that already so you can just keep that thought to yourself, motherfucker. She was feeling pretty dejected and shitty and is still kind of in a pissy mood (so watch out), but then her new BFF Robbie Rob wrote an ode to her labia (scroll down to November 15) and it made her feel much better. One, because she has friends that are so cool and try to make her feel better when she is feeling awful and two, because it's an ODE to her motherfucking LABIA. How many people have odes written to their labia? Huh? Yeah, didn't think so, biznatch.
Now Kat is feeling a bit better and shit, so you don't need to be all sappy in the comments and go "AWW WE LOVE YOU KAT, TO THE MAX" but if you really want to do something to cheer her up you can always buy her presents. No?
Cheap bastards.
Stephen is having surgery today. Wish him well. Because I said so.
babbled by Kat @ 8:48:00 AM |
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