babble
Tuesday, November 11, 2003
Girls gone wild:
I haven't told you much about my adventures during the last couple of weeks because I have been so goddamned busy. Also, most of the time when I do really fun shit, I need a little bit of time to collect my thoughts before I tell you about it. And sometimes I have to do some editing because even though I tell you all manner of things like how well I know my labial structure, sometimes I need to keep some shit private. After all, I don't want my internet stalkers to know too much about me. There has to be some mystery left when they kidnap me and harvest my organs to sell on the black market.
So anyway, on Halloween I had the privilege of officiating at my friends Wes and Erica's wedding. You see, once upon a time I was ordained by a supercool internet ministry and I have wanted to perform a wedding ceremony ever since. Luckily for me, my friends totally disregarded my high level of retardation and asked me to officiate at their wedding. I wrote up a nice little ceremony for them, we went over it before the wedding, and I got there early just to make sure everything would go well. It did, and I was totally honored to do it, because the love that these two feel for one another is palpable. (And I don't mean that in a dirty way.. or do I?) Perhaps all these lovey-dovey wedding shenanigans are the reason for my little bout of lovesickness a few posts back, no?
The reception was awesome, and during the process of celebrating the couple's nuptials I consumed a fair amount of Guinness. What a surprise. I spent a good amount of time with a certain friend of the groom, who we'll call Zero Gauge. (Shit, everyone else has nicknames for people in their blogs, so I figured I'd jump on the bandwagon.) ZG and I shared an affinity for imported beer and Family Guy, so as you can imagine we had a lot to talk about. And by "talk" I mean talk, you perverts. I may or may not be running into ZG again soon and I may or may not tell you about it. Not that you necessarily care about what I am doing with my spare time and/or saliva, but this blog has been celibate for far too long and I think it is feeling a little neglected, so at the very least I am going to have to spice things up with more photos of hot chicks and maybe a masturbation fantasy or seven.
You'd think the adventure ended there, wouldn't you? But nooooo. I know you may have been fooled into thinking that I lead a boring, mundane existence because I post about going to the grocery store and removing cat hair from my nostrils, but really it's all just a sham and I am clearly the most exciting person you will ever stalk know.
The adventure continues a mere one week later, with a party that I attended on Saturday night. Fortunately, the party was a mere two minutes' walk away, so I couldn't possibly justify whatever lazy excuse I could make for not attending. Also, a friend of mine that I hadn't seen in quite a while had invited me, and I am a loyal friend so of course I had to go. It doesn't hurt that she is hella hot, as I tend to do things more readily if hot chicks do the asking. We spent some time catching up, and by "catching up" I mean talking, you perverts. This followed an evening during which I sat at the bar with a few hotties and C-list celebrities and drank till the wee hours of the evening. Of course, the celebrities have all sworn me to secrecy but suffice it to say that I saw boobs that night and you didn't.
Obviously after all the celebrity nipple sightings I had to take a rest (read: masturbate), because staring at nice boobs takes a lot out of a girl (read: makes a girl wanna rub one out, you perverts). Next weekend I'm off to Phoenix for a weekend of drunken debauchery, the drunken part of which involves my grandmother and the debauchery part of which most certainly does not. I will take pictures, but not of what you think I will take pictures of.
You perverts.
3rd Leg rocks a house party at the drop of a hat
babbled by Kat @ 6:47:00 AM |
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