babble
Monday, November 10, 2003
Pussy galore:
Last night I slept like complete and utter shit. I felt kind of ill earlier in the evening, which prevented me from going to this bowling fundraiser thing that I really wanted to go to, but I felt like I might hurl on people's bowling shoes if I exerted any kind of physical effort so I thought I should stay home. I watched a new episode of Family Guy and then went to bed nice and early, hoping to catch a decent amount of sleep so that I could be reasonably functional today.
However, my cat thwarted my plans.
You see, I have a very affectionate cat. He just fucking adores me and follows me around the loft all the time. He will sit next to me for hours on end while I'm working or reading or whatnot. Recently he has taken to doing this snuggle action while I am asleep. "Aww," I hear you say. "Why would that be a problem?" Well, I'll fucking tell you, you sappy bastards.
I sleep on my side. My cat wants to be so goddamned close to me that he places himself in the space directly in front of my face when I am lying down, thus positioning his whiskers in prime position to tickle my nose, which wakes me up. This also places him in the perfect position to knead his claws directly into my flesh, which needless to say wakes me up in a most unpleasant fashion. For some reason, my cat could not leave me the fuck alone last night. He would do this cuddly shit, wake me up with either whisker tickling or claw insertion, and then stick his nose in my face and await petting. I'll tell you something, there is nothing quite so disconcerting as a fucking one-eyed black cat staring into your eyes, less than an inch from your face. I finally had to shove him off the bed, which seemed to confuse him, because he sat on the floor staring at me for a good ten minutes afterwards.
I love my goddamned cat, don't get me wrong, but I swear to fucking christ he is either trying to deprive me of sleep so that I will become a delirious cat lady who is always wearing a housecoat, curlers, and a scarf and feeds him treats at all hours of the day and night because she's so retarded she can't remember the last time she fed him, or he's trying to be evil and steal my soul and he's just not very good at being subtle. If this continues in this manner I might just have to find somewhere else to sleep and/or stock up on cat treats and hair curlers.
Jeremy shizzle televizzle
babbled by Kat @ 8:40:00 AM |
|
