babble
Thursday, January 22, 2004
Forever yours, faithfully:
It turns out the mystery illness is not so mysterious after all. After two full days of just fever and aches and generally feeling like I alternately got run over by a truck and a herd of angry sumo wrestlers, I finally got another symptom. Since I have had this exact same problem like a bajillion times before, I knew immediately what it was and proceeded to go, "aw, fuck". Then I called my doctor and said, "Give me some antibiotics right now, goddammit!!"
No, I don't have gonoherpesyphilaids.
I have a urinary tract infection.
Oh yeah, it's sexy. I'm adding it to my Friendster profile.
Anyway, those of you familiar with this particular affliction may think that my condition implies that I have had sex recently. I cannot confirm or deny this, because it would call my moral character into question. (Don't worry, if you're not buying that whole "moral character" bullshit, neither am I, and I'm writing it.) In any case, if I did indeed have sex, I also cannot confirm or deny that it was with Eddie Izzard, because I am not entirely sure if that particular hot and steamy night of incredible sex was entirely in my imagination or not. If it wasn't my imagination and anyone has video confirmation, please forward it to me immediately.
In other news, I was watching the Daily Show tonight and my future husband Jon Stewart was talking about all of the Democratic presidential candidates' favorite albums. He then mentioned that General Wesley Clark's favorite album is "Journey's Greatest Hits".
YEAH, BABY.
I tell you what, I already wanted to make out with Gen. Clark. (What? Older men are hot. Sue me.) But clearly, since we both share a love of Steve Perry, the good General and I are soul mates and should make out endlessly.
Of course, making out with an admittedly bisexual, pierced and tattooed, social lefty who was a teen mom, drinks too much, and lives in one of those goddamned commie pinko artists' colonies would probably ruin his chances at the presidency, but I think when he weighs that against the awesomeness that is making out with me, he'll find that it's TOTALLY worth it.
babbled by Kat @ 11:55:00 PM |
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