babble
Monday, February 09, 2004
It's an institute you can't disparage:
I have four first drafts of presentations to complete this month. One is due today, one is due on Friday, one is due next Wednesday, and the fourth is due the following Monday. I am kind of behind on them, partially due to my own procrastination and partially due to the bane of my existence, Microsoft. I have become so stressed out by this situation that my brain has begun concocting elaborate escape strategies as a way to run away from my problems, the most entertaining of which involves me running away to Las Vegas and getting married, like, right now, and then getting it annulled shortly afterwards just like my hero and yours, Ms. Britney Spears.
The only problem I am having with the execution of this scenario is that most of the people who I would consider embarking on this clearly insane venture with, not to mention the ones who would actually do it, are already happily married. The others are otherwise unattainable, due to celebrity, distance, or orientation. Therefore, in order to do this I will need a volunteer, with the following requirements:
1. Not currently married, or, willing to engage in polygamy for a very short period of time.
2. Close enough to my current location to get into a car with me and drive to Las Vegas.
3. Willing to get married, get blind drunk, and then have the audacity to annul the marriage the next day on the grounds that we were blind drunk and didn't know what we were doing.
4. Male, or if female, willing to allow me to use the fact that we can't legally marry each other in Las Vegas as grounds for an ACLU-backed lawsuit for gender discrimination.
5. Not currently stalking me.
Of course, if you meet all of these requirements (especially numbers three and five) you are probably clinically insane and shouldn't marry anyone, but since when has a little thing like a firm grip on reality been a requirement for anyone I'm even slightly romantically involved with? It certainly isn't something I require for myself.
babbled by Kat @ 1:52:00 PM |
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