babble
Sunday, April 11, 2004
You can call me lazy, but I know where I belong:
This weekend was chock-full of action-packed excitement. Allow me to tell you the fantastical tales of debauchery, adventure, and tomfoolery that occurred. You may not believe some of them, because they sound too amazing to be true, but I assure you, they are not fiction - nay, they are indeed fact!
On Friday evening, I entered a mystical structure called the Millenium Biltmore hotel and located a mysterious place in it called the "bar". At this wondrous "bar", I encountered many mythical creatures who, it turns out, are indeed real and not merely legends who exist only in fairy tales. I know, because I shook hands with many of them and was even "dude"-ed by one or two. The evening was fraught with spirited debate, fascinating conversation, and copious amounts of intoxicating beverages. It was capped off with a lovely and spontaneous trip to the local watering hole with two friends, which is sure to spark off many a rumor in the hallowed halls of the Brewery about my alleged copulation practices. Fear not, gentle readers, I did not engage in any untoward activities, much less take on two beastly stallions on my own. Such activity would be far too much for my fragile consititution to bear.
Saturday was spent whiling away the hours with whimsical abandon. I engaged in many relaxing and enjoyable activities such as monitoring server activity, changing settings on upwards of 400 databases, and running other server maintenance to ensure a smooth transition to a new database distribution on Monday morning. These activities were made all the more pleasant by the fact that my office chair, while quite charming in its own way, makes one's back feel as though it was trampled on by a stampeding pack of rabid wildebeests. After spending the bulk of my Saturday performing such restful, calming activities, I was momentarily distracted by a short trip to my favorite sushi restaurant. I proceeded to consume roughly two times my body weight in raw fish, after which I returned to my home office to resume my Sisyphean tasks. After completing them (as well as three quarters of a bottle of wine), I fell into a deep, restful slumber, all the better to prepare myself for the following day's activities.
I spent the bulk of Sunday diligently rolling the system maintenance rock up the hill over and over again, while simultaneously attempting to finish some damnable PowerPoint presentations for an upcoming hootenany. These presentations, which once brought joy and light into my life, have quickly become the bane of my existence, and though I once loved them fiercely, I am now beginning to hate them with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns. However, this blinding, intense hatred has given me the motivation to kick their proverbial asses and complete them with such quality and efficiency as to render all who read them mute with awe. I expect to accomplish this with the help of some Chinese take-out, several copious servings of Pinot Grigio, and some Sapphic inspiration.
I hope to have a slightly less action-packed week, but my hopes for that are slim to none. If you hear a shriek of exasperation coming from the direction of downtown Los Angeles, send emergency supplies, such as single-malt scotch or a small army of masseuses, posthaste.
babbled by Kat @ 7:54:00 PM |
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