babble
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Interview with the Pope:
Hey there, Cardinal Ratzinger.
That's "Pope Benedict XVI" to you, missy.
Ooops, sorry about that, Mr. Pope. So how does it feel to be the leader of such an influential church?
Hell, I've been running this place for a long time. I'm like the Dick Cheney of the Vatican.
Are you going to make any changes?
No way. You think all that stuff ol' Karol kept saying about birth control, ordaining women, and those damned homos was his idea? It was all me, lady. Speaking of which, why aren't you barefoot and pregnant?
Um, I have one child, and I don't want any more.
So you're celibate, right?
Uh, no.
What?! Then you and your husband must be very good practitioners of Natural Family Planning. Excellent work, my child.
Er, actually, I'm not married. Can we get back to some of the issues that the Church is facing?
You're NOT MARRIED??? You're a fornicator? I certainly hope you go to confession often. And how is it that you're not walking around popping out babies like your dutiful Catholic grandmother did?
Well, if I'm having sex with a man, I use condoms. With women, it'd take an act of God to impregnate me, really. Heh. Forgive the pun.
*sputter* ...With WOMEN?!?!?!?1!? Cardinal! How did you let this fornicating homosexual in here to speak with me? I'm the Pope, for chrissakes!
Actually, sir, I'm an ordained minister, too. And I'm related to a saint. We even share a birthday.
[Pope Eggs Benedict nearly falls off his chair]Holy Mother of God! An ordained WOMAN? I'm feeling a bit woozy.
Uh. Sir? Can I ask you one more question about the Church?
[wheezing]What? Okay, ja, I suppose so.
Why do you guys all dress in drag?
[Pope faints]
babbled by Kat @ 12:23:00 PM |
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