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Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Growing and growing:

The lover and I went to L.A. this past weekend. While we were there I noticed my left wrist was kind of stiff and had random aches. On our flight back it felt a little worse, and by the time I woke up right before we landed it had graduated to a dull throb. After we got home, the lovarrr went to work and I took a nap sat down to a long day of working from home. When I woke up from the nap took a break from all my hard work, my wrist and hand hurt like a motherfucker. If I moved my wrist back, like I was pushing someone/something, it felt like I was being stabbed. Awesome!

So, despite my distaste for most doctors, I went to the doctor to get it checked out yesterday. I thought it was just a rockin' case of tendonitis, but I thought I should get it checked out just to be sure it wasn't a stress fracture or wrist-ebola or something. I was hoping that it was just a mild sprain and they would tell me that I needed to get it massaged, which would give me an excuse to go get a manicure. I love manicures. Because I'm a rich asshole.

Instead, the specialist they had me see (thank baby jesus for multi-doctor practices!) told me I have a ganglion cyst. Sexy! It's not sticking out like most examples you will see on the internerds. It's sneaky and hidden, kind of like that one ex-boyfriend I had that used to spy on me when I went out with my friends to see if I'd make out with other dudes or some shit. I need to get an MRI to see how big and how many cysts there are, and that will determine whether I need surgery or just occupational therapy.

Those of you who read this blog frequently (well, as frequently as I post anyway, which is... infrequently) know that I like to name things that grow on or in me. For example, last year, I found out I had a fibroid and named it Fred. So I figure since my wrist is having a synovial-fluid-filled baby, I should name it. After thinking about it for a bit, I decided on a name.

Lindsay. La Lohan if you're nasty.

Now, in light of the attention that Ms. Lohan's arrest is getting today you might think I am doing this because of her current media focus. Rather, I am doing it because I have enjoyed watching her career begin its spiral into what is sure to end up with B-movie soft-core porn. Also, after doing some research I discovered that my cyst is an occult (hidden) dorsal (on the back of the hand) ganglion, which kind of sounds like a satanic dolphin. Seems appropriate.

Do you see the resemblance?


A ganglion cyst:

I don't know. I think it kind of fits.

The MRI is scheduled for next week. I'll be sure to post updates on my wrist-Lohan since I'm sure the one reader I have left will be on the edge of his or her seat. If you're really good, I'll post surgery photos. While you're eating dinner.

babbled by Kat @ 6:33:00 PM | |