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Monday, June 30, 2003


Farewell, lovely ladyIt's good to see that the possibility of getting a mix CD has motivated you people to come through with the cheap, meaningless compliments that I knew you were all capable of. I'm so proud.

But overriding my pride at seeing my 'blogging homies come up with mildly stalker-esque and blatantly fake compliments is a sense that I am being ripped off royally by my mobile phone service provider. You might ask, "What else is new, you hot sexy bitch? People have been getting the shaft from cell phone companies since cell phones were the size and weight of a medium-sized malformed baby." This is true, but I want to describe to you the blatant, lubeless ass-fucking that my service provider, AT&T, is ever so graciously giving me.

You see, this past month I have been using my mobile phone much more than usual. I have a fairly generous plan, which includes 1,000 minutes per month, plus unlimited night and weekend calls. Unfortunately, my phone only tracks total minutes used and doesn't differentiate between "prime-time" minutes and night/weekend minutes. Since I used my phone a significant amount while I was driving to Arizona in early June, I thought that I was either close to going over or had perhaps already gone over my allotment of "prime-time" minutes, so I logged in to AT&T's web site to check on my monthly usage. However, though this service is available to "most customers" according to the site, it was unavailable to me.

"No problem," I thought, "I'll just call customer service and ask them to look it up for me."

If only it were so simple. I called customer service and was promptly informed by the woman who answered that they did not track usage. I insisted that they must track usage, since the service for tracking currently monthly usage was available to "most customers" via their web site. After several minutes of hemming and hawing and putting me on hold for what seemed like an interminable amount of time, she returned and told me that the reason I could not view my current monthly usage is because I am on a corporate-affiliated plan that has a discount. (It's a very minor discount, by the way.) She then informed me that the only way I can activate the "feature" that will allow me to view my currently monthly usage would be to forfeit my inclusion in the corporate plan and give up my discount.

So, basically, my options are as follows: Keep a manual running tally of my current monthly usage and keep my discount, or lose the discount and have this feature enabled. There is no option for me to pay a few extra bucks a month to view my current usage. Now, why would I get so pissed about this that I would write about in in my 'blog without using vague references to an amorphous corporate entity?

Because there is no way for people to know how many minutes they have used that month, they run the risk of going over their allotted minutes. If they go over, they are subject to ridiculously high rates for the minutes over the allotted amount, simply because they were unable to tell how many minutes they had used. Discount or not, I think this is an unacceptable way of doing business - denying a very large group of your customers access to viewing their current monthly usage simply because they get a few bucks discounted on their bill every month seems ludicrous to me.

In response to this, I'm planning on changing to a new service provider, unless anyone can tell me why this business practice is anything other than shady.

babbled by Kat @ 12:22:00 PM | |

Thursday, June 26, 2003


Life ain't nothin' but bitches and moneyThe three and a quarter of you regularly read this blog and the two and a third of you who have read through all of my archives in the last few weeks (don't tell me I don't look at my site statistics, baby) have probably realized by now that I go through periods when I am incredibly prolific in my writing and then all of a sudden the well dries up for whatever reason and I just sit here and don't post a goddamn thing for a week or more. This just shows my tendency to procrastinate my ass off. I will stare at my blog and reread the last post or twelve and try to come up with something ever so witty and fascinating and it won't just pop into my head so instead of making a concerted effort to find something to write about, I just sit here and work on my secret evil plot for world domination.

One of the steps I am taking to further that plot is to jump on the mix CD bandwagon like Scott and CW and make a kickass mix CD to distribute to a select few of my minions, er, I mean readers. Now, in case you are doubting my ability to create a kickass mix CD due to the distinct lack of musical discussion in my previous posts, Kerry can attest to my mix CD prowess. I made her a very special mix CD so that she would have something totally kickass to listen to while she was packing and getting ready for her move, and there is nothing like listening to good and/or funny music to make you feel better about the hell that is moving. Anyway, my mix CDs are not only totally fabulous but also wildly schizophrenic, because I will put stuff like N.W.A., Radiohead, and Marilyn Manson on the same CD. Yes, I am just that crazy.

I will be coming up with an entirely new playlist and making the mix CDs in the next week or so. It will be a limited edition of, say, 13 copies, because that number freaks people out. If you want one, post a comment or send me an e-mail telling me how beautiful, witty, charming, intelligent, and sexy I am. Bribing me with presents from one of my wishlists won't hurt, either.

babbled by Kat @ 9:03:00 AM | |

Sunday, June 22, 2003


In the last several days, I have been caught up in a whirlwind of activity. I was all planning to post stuff on Friday and everything, but on Thursday afternoon, just on a whim (and a friend's invitation), I decided to get the fuck out of town. So I went to my friendly web-neighborhood airline and found a cheap ticket, and off I went. It was a really short trip - I was only out of town for a day and a half or so, but it was exactly what I needed. I just chilled out and totally relaxed, which I haven't done in a long time, or so it seems. Anyway, it was time well spent with great company, and I'm damn glad that I did something so totally out of character and just hopped on a freakin' plane with less than a day's notice.

So, I came back last night, and went over to the Renaissance Hollywood Hotel, where my uncle was staying. He was in town because the band he plays with was playing at the Hollywood Bowl. We hung out, had some dinner, and talked about a whole bunch of shit till really late. One of the best things to come out of this whole situation with my grandmother's health has been that my uncle and I have started really talking a lot more, and though I wish our renewed bonding thing had been initiated under different circumstances, I'm really happy that we're hanging out and really getting to be friends.

Tonight I got to go see him play, which was great. If you've never been to the Hollywood Bowl, it's a big outdoor amphitheater shaped kind of like.. well, a bowl. It holds about 18,000 people, and tonight there were about 17,500 there, so it was almost full capacity. I got me a nice fancy crew badge, so I got to go sit with the band's sound guy (who was really cool, by the way) in the sound booth. It's right in the middle of the amphitheater, so I could see the crowd going nuts below us, and the sound of the crowd above us singing along kind of rolled down over us. It was kickass. The boys got a standing ovation. I mean, how could they not, finishing with "Good Lovin'"? You know your ass would've been out of your seat, too.

babbled by Kat @ 11:54:00 PM | |

Wednesday, June 18, 2003


Wine comes in at the mouth
And love comes in at the eye;
That's all we shall know for truth
Before we grow old and die.
I lift the glass to my mouth,
I look at you, and I sigh.

William Butler Yeats, A Drinking Song

babbled by Kat @ 1:37:00 PM | |

Tuesday, June 17, 2003

Not at all interesting:

Once again, we present... boobies!I know you all love my inane blather so much that you haven't really missed the inclusion of photos in my posts, but I have decided to bring them back because, well, I like looking at celebrities of either gender in low-cut ensembles, so you are just going to have to deal with it.

This weekend I wasn't very productive. I basically just spent a lot of time sleeping fitfully because it's so fucking hot on the third floor of my loft, but there is no other place for me to sleep so I just turn the fan to the highest setting, point it at myself and then grab onto something so I don't get blown off the bed. I did go out and get my friend Karen some bourbon for her birthday present, because nothing says friendship like hard liquor. Her birthday party was funtimes and I got to reconnect with a couple of ladies that I think are pretty kickass, and since I'm now a freewheelin' single gal, I'm glad I have some other freewheelin' single gals to hang out with when we go out somewhere, because really, if you are a single gal and you go out by yourself you're really not all that freewheelin'.

Yesterday I took the day off work because I really needed a fucking day off already. Plus, I had an appointment for a physical, and sometimes physicals are kind of traumatic, so I wanted to have the rest of the day off in case I needed to recover from all the horrific poking and prodding. Fortunately there wasn't much poking and there was very little prodding. I think my regular doctor saves all the prodding action for my gynecologist, which I will be sure to describe for you in detail after my next pap smear. Anyway, I got a clean bill of health except for my dirty bastard of a stomach, but I already knew that was fucked up so I wasn't really surprised. My doctor thinks that all of my stomach problems are due to a sensitivity to wheat gluten, which permeates the very soul of our culture and is extremely hard to avoid, so she is sending me to a gastroenterologist to have my gutmeats examined. I think that all my stomach problems can probably be traced to my rampant alcoholism and tendency to internalize all of my stress to the point where I think my brainmeats might implode, but I'm no doctor, so I'll go see the gut dude. In any case, as far as my doctor is concerned, I am totally and completely normal and healthy.

She didn't examine my other four personalities, though, so I guess there will always be some doubt as to my true overall health status.

babbled by Kat @ 9:49:00 AM | |

Thursday, June 12, 2003

Nerd alert:

Jake: netbeans has a sang-froid that you need to acclimate yourself to
Kat: do i need to meditate to become one with my inner netbean?
Jake: absoshmutely
Jake: i purge myself and then burn incense before i begin my coding
Kat: the code is you and you are the code
Jake: but what IS the code
Kat: the eternal question
Jake: existentialism 101
Kat: we must purify our code in order to understand the real truth of the netbean
Jake: even then it is not truly understandable....
Jake: one must have faith

I just love my friends.

babbled by Kat @ 11:53:00 AM | |

Wednesday, June 11, 2003

Empty inside:

I have just realized that there is a void in my life that can only be filled by obsessively listening to Schooly D, Big Daddy Kane, and Kool Moe Dee on repeat for at least five days straight.

Can you blame me?

babbled by Kat @ 5:56:00 PM | |

Monday, June 09, 2003

Back in black:

I'm back in L.A., safe and sound, and despite my best efforts to reinvent myself as a bra-wearing, colorfully-wardrobed upstanding citizen, I am wearing a black and grey ensemble today. Shockingly enough, though, I'm wearing a skirt, for the second day in a row no less, and for those who know me that is quite a feat. I guess that's how I deal with summer - instead of wearing skimpier stuff in brighter colors I just put on a long, dark skirt and skulk around like I'm some kind of evil supervillian in their daytime disguise as a corporate goth.

In between hospital visits and telecommuting last week, I spent some time messing with Trepia. The concept is pretty interesting, but the execution so far is a little weak - you're supposed to be able to filter people based on their proximity to you, but right now the location-based search either isn't working or they have too few users for it to be effective. Anyway, it led to some fun times over the weekend as I had many, many random strangers talk to me because I am one of only about 3 women users on it right now. Fun times!

I promise a return to hilarity shortly after I obtain some nice Xanax to make me stop worrying about everything that's gone all pear-shaped in my life lately. In the meantime, watch out for the monkeypox!

babbled by Kat @ 10:37:00 AM | |

Thursday, June 05, 2003

Why I love BBC World News:

I've been listening to the radio a lot, because even though I have a super kickass nice sport luxury wagon, it doesn't have a CD player. Apparently, until a few years ago, those silly German carmakers didn't think CD players should be standard equipment. They also seemed to have a problem with providing decent cupholders, because for them, it's all about the driving and you shouldn't be paying attention to frivolous crap like music or tasty beverages. Anyway, since most of the radio stations in Phoenix consist of mullet rock, Jesus babble, or music with lyrics in a language I don't understand, I've been listening to NPR most of the time. I like NPR a lot anyway - I usually listen to it during my commute when I'm at home - but the station that carries it here also carries a feed of the BBC World news service, and let me tell you, I just plain adore it. The reason I love it so much is that the correspondents pretty much badger their interview subjects. Unlike reporters in the U.S., who just ask questions, get an answer, and move on to the next question like some quasi-news-gathering automaton, the BBC reporters say things like, "You can't seriously be saying that you think such-and-such leader should do that? That's absurd!" They also interrupt their interview subjects when they think the point the subject is making is upsetting or irrelevant. I find this highly amusing, and I just thought I'd share. Plus, that whole inside joke thing in yesterday's post didn't go over too well, mainly because the person to whom it was directed hasn't read or commented on it yet. Probably because he was out fucking her.

babbled by Kat @ 9:18:00 AM | |

Wednesday, June 04, 2003

Dear Adam:

Don't fuck her.

Just a friendly reminder.

babbled by Kat @ 8:04:00 PM | |

Tuesday, June 03, 2003

The land of swine and roses:

I'm currently in Phoenix, visiting my grandma, who is in the hospital. She's doing okay, but she's not at 100%, more like 65%, and it's really distressing to see her like that. But I'm dealing, because I love her and I want her to know she has family around her that loves her. It helps her and makes her try to get better, and she's a tough little lady so she's recovering faster than most would at her age.

So, now I'm staying in a hotel with broadband access and telecommuting from here so that I can work. Fortunately, my biggest project at work wrapped up this week, so it should be relatively smooth sailing, just catching up on support requests and smaller projects. So I can concentrate on geeking out a little on some new technologies in between hospital visits. Fun times!

There will be a few changes shortly on the ol' Fez, as some pretty major life changes are occurring in my personal life right now. I'm not going to air the dirty laundry in public. I hope others involved will refrain from doing so as well.

Sorry for the lack of funny in today's post. I'm not feeling all that funny at the moment.

babbled by Kat @ 11:06:00 PM | |