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Saturday, April 30, 2005

No sleep till Dublin:

Due to my bizarre combination of narcissistic tendencies and occasionally poor body image, I've decided to do a nude self-portrait series over a period of time, which will debut at the fall Artwalk. Not the upcoming one. Hate to disappoint. Anyway, make of that what you will, and make travel arrangements accordingly.

In other news, the fucking exchange rate between USD and GBP is fucking horrid. It's literally 2:1. The Euro is a little better, more like 1:.72-ish, but good lord the dollar is weak. Therefore, I won't be spending a lot of money in Ireland or the UK next week, so for those of my 2.5 readers that I like and actually know in real life, expect either really cheesy (read: cheap) souvenirs, or none at all. I may very well end up just bringing back whisky. Besides, I'm only taking an 18" rollaboard and a small duffel (both carry-ons, as I hate checking bags), which is, in my view, overpacking for an 8-day trip, but I am willing to make an exception to my general travel rules for whisky that you can't get in the States.

I'll have very sporadic internet access while I'm gone, but feel free to comment or send me messages, especially if you're in Dublin, London, or NYC, you know, 'cause I'll be there and stuff. I'll also attempt to hijack China Vagina's computer for a little while and upload a photo or two.

Also, I went to the camera store today and bought 16 rolls of film - 10 b&w and 6 color. For the photography geeks, I'll detail it here: 1 roll Maco Ort 25, 2 rolls Maco Cube 400, 3 rolls Ilford Delta 400, 4 rolls Ilford FP4 125, 2 rolls Kodak Portra VC 160, 2 rolls Kodak Portra VC 400, 2 rolls Fuji NPS 160. I'm also bringing 2 rolls of Agfa Scala 200 and 2 rolls of Kodachrome 64, one of which I intend to cross-process. AND I'm using a lensbaby for half that roll. AND it's about four months past-date. Expect funky results!

Oh, and I also bought a new lens for the manual SLR - a Tokina 28-70mm. It's not super fast - I mean, what do you expect for a zoom in the ~$100 price range - but it'll do fine as long as I use the faster film with it. Now I'm just going to tape the shit out of the camera so it looks even crappier and more beat-up and everything will be fine. I mean, I like to look classy and shit, but if I'm going to be taking photos of heroin addicts in Phoenix Park (accompanied by an escort, of course), I need to dress everything down. Including the camera.

babbled by Kat @ 6:03:00 PM | |

Friday, April 29, 2005

Sometimes the clothes do not make the man:

I'm being such a giant film geek right now. I know, what? People still shoot with film? Yes, for fine art applications I still enjoy using film. Sure, I can get some similar effects with digital, but there's something about taking a full-manual camera somewhere and totally eyeballing the proper exposure, setting it on the camera, and having the meter tell me I'm dead on that gets my brainmeats all tingly. Anyway, I'm taking a manual 35mm SLR with a regular prime lens and a Lensbaby, a quad-lens toy camera, my Leica C2 for handy point-and-shoot situations, and a couple of digital cameras - one SLR and one that's basically like a digital rangefinder and looks like one of those old brick cameras from the 70s. Mmmmmmmm cameras.

After I get to NYC I'm dropping my film from Europe off at a lab that processes Scala and Kodachrome, because I'm taking those two (fairly rare) films with me to Europe, and then on the flight home from NYC I'll review the contact sheets and decide what I need enlarged/printed. (Making prints from slides is FUN!) I can then drop off my negs at my local lab and have shiny new enlargements ready for Artwalk. That's me - always thinking, and always using my vacation time to be productive instead of relaxing. I swear, I'll be dead or incapacitated before I turn 40.

babbled by Kat @ 12:36:00 AM | |

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Vacation, all I ever wanted:

One of the reasons that I'm kind of glad the doctor wouldn't let me fly this week is that I want to make sure I am in excellent health for my upcoming vacation. It wouldn't be very good for me to be hobbling around various European nations all sickly-like. So I'm taking good care of myself all week. This involves resting and lots and lots of soup. Mmm, soup.

You'd think that since I travel for work all the time that I'd use my vacation time to sit on my arse, wouldn't you? Well, you're WRONG. During my vacation, I will be participating in the following activities:

Going to Dublin and spending massive amounts of time with my friend Jeff drinking and carrying on and taking loads of photographs and drinking.

Going to London and spending massive amounts of time with China Vagina drinking and carrying on and taking loads of photographs and terrorising (see, I'm practicing UK spelling) various neighbourhoods (I did it again!) in London. Also, I will convince my hot friend Vampy to join us.

Going to New York and spending massive amounts of time with my friend Adam drinking and carrying on and taking loads of photographs and convincing my favorite (back to US spelling. xoxox.) boys to come out and play.

Any questions? Who's coming with me?

babbled by Kat @ 7:49:00 AM | |

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Interview with the Pope:

Hey there, Cardinal Ratzinger.

That's "Pope Benedict XVI" to you, missy.

Ooops, sorry about that, Mr. Pope. So how does it feel to be the leader of such an influential church?

Hell, I've been running this place for a long time. I'm like the Dick Cheney of the Vatican.

Are you going to make any changes?

No way. You think all that stuff ol' Karol kept saying about birth control, ordaining women, and those damned homos was his idea? It was all me, lady. Speaking of which, why aren't you barefoot and pregnant?

Um, I have one child, and I don't want any more.

So you're celibate, right?

Uh, no.

What?! Then you and your husband must be very good practitioners of Natural Family Planning. Excellent work, my child.

Er, actually, I'm not married. Can we get back to some of the issues that the Church is facing?

You're NOT MARRIED??? You're a fornicator? I certainly hope you go to confession often. And how is it that you're not walking around popping out babies like your dutiful Catholic grandmother did?

Well, if I'm having sex with a man, I use condoms. With women, it'd take an act of God to impregnate me, really. Heh. Forgive the pun.

*sputter* ...With WOMEN?!?!?!?1!? Cardinal! How did you let this fornicating homosexual in here to speak with me? I'm the Pope, for chrissakes!

Actually, sir, I'm an ordained minister, too. And I'm related to a saint. We even share a birthday.

[Pope Eggs Benedict nearly falls off his chair]Holy Mother of God! An ordained WOMAN? I'm feeling a bit woozy.

Uh. Sir? Can I ask you one more question about the Church?

[wheezing]What? Okay, ja, I suppose so.

Why do you guys all dress in drag?

[Pope faints]

babbled by Kat @ 12:23:00 PM | |

Monday, April 18, 2005

Song for the deaf:

Twat did you say?
I cunt hear you.
I have an ear infucktion.

No, really. I do. I went to the urgent care doctor on Sunday and he took one look at my poor little eardrum and was like "whoa, that's a mess in there." That is not something I normally like to hear from my doctor, but in this case it's good since he confirmed that I shouldn't fly for almost a week, and gave me meds to clear up the infection. Apparently my eardrum was red and bulging. Yes, BULGING. So sexy.

You see, taking two flights with a bad head cold can cause all the goop that's in your sinuses to get pushed right into your middle ear. NEATO. So now I'm on some nifty superstrong antibiotics and some decongestants, which make me nice and loopy while I wait for my ears to get back to normal. It's actually kind of fun to listen to my Eustachian tube attempting to equalize the pressure in my eardrum as it gets better, though. It's like there's a little bowl of Rice Krispies in my ear. Fun times.

This is okay, though, because I can stay home and work on some reports, finish my slide stacks for the talks I'm giving in May (holy shit, less than a month away!), work on cleaning up some of my various and sundry websites, hang out with friends in the evenings, and finish working on some of the renovation stuff I've been doing. I mean, for fuck's sake, I am going on vacation in less than two weeks, and I cannot go to see my preciousssss China Vagina with so many things left undone, can I?

babbled by Kat @ 5:30:00 PM | |

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Dead lifeboats in the sun:

I just woke up from a dream in which I was with some people I don't know in real life but apparently I knew quite well in the dream. After a series of events including one where I said something very minor but fairly selfish, I said to one of them, "No matter how much good I do, the smallest bad thing seems to negate it all." I woke up very upset.

That is quite possibly the most depressing dream I've ever had.

Anyway, I seem to have caught a cold or something in Charlotte and had to fly home with nasal congestion yesterday. Though I doped myself up on the highest dose decongestant I could find and used nasal spray, my right ear still hasn't popped from the pressure change and I've been off the plane for 14 hours. I am a little concerned since I have to fly again on a two-leg red-eye on Sunday night. My poor little Eustachian tube.

All ear remedies are welcome.

babbled by Kat @ 12:31:00 PM | |

Monday, April 11, 2005

Only happy when it rains:

I went up to San Francisco yesterday to go to APE. My pal Alex had a table with Laurenn McCubbin, so I just put some Cult zines up for sale and hung out with them all day. I ended up buying a print, a toy, and a painting from Laurenn of a hot pirate girl. I thought taking a painting home on the plane would be difficult, but apparently it's not a big deal because not only did security wave me through without so much as a raised eyebrow, but another passenger on my flight had a painting with him too. Also, Shirley Manson was on my flight. She is very cute but needs to eat a sandwich or maybe drink some Ensure.

Now I'm back for less than 24 hours before I jaunt off to my next destination, which is in the dirty dirty south. I plan to enjoy the few hours that I'll be home by staring at my wall of art. I have work by CJ Kang, Oliver Arms, Laurenn McCubbin, Emmeric Konrad, and Richard Colman all on the same wall. It's my favorite wall ever.

babbled by Kat @ 5:46:00 PM | |

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Tool time:

Normally I don't give you people any reasons for my sporadic posting habits, but this time there's a good one. You see, during all of my spare moments lately I have been engaging in a sordid activity known to those of us in the seedy underbelly of society as "home improvement".

After living in this loft for 3 years or so, I finally decided to finish off all the changes that my ex-girlfriend Liz (not just an ex, THE ex) and I started when we moved in. Well, to be fair, she did all of the work - painting, mostly. I even hired her to paint some more stuff for me, because who better to paint the walls than someone who used to paint for a living? Now, the bedroom is almost complete, paint-wise, and the kitchen is nearly done, though I have to re-drill some holes in the kitchen drawers to accommodate the new cabinet hardware. OH, THE HUMANITY.

The next phase in this project involves a giant purge of worldly possessions the likes of which has not been seen since that one time when someone threw out a bunch of stuff. I'm separating things into four categories: discard, donate, sell, and keep. I am pretty excited about this because throwing stuff away is fun. I also have at least a box or two of clothes that are more the style of a 22 year old married accountant than a 30 year old single computer geek, and I refuse to make a fashion faux pas in the land of geekery, so those are out. I'm going to sell a bunch of old comic books, toys, etc. as well. Of course, the most valuable piece of comic-book related art that I have is the sketch that Joe Linsner did that became my first tattoo, so as much as I'm tempted by the soft mewling of overeager eBay buyers and the promise of quick cash, the sentimental value is forcing me to keep that one. But all that other shit, like love letters and sappy shit like that? GONE.

Maybe I'll even post a photo of the finished bedroom when I'm done. You know you nosy bastards want to see where I, um, sleep.

babbled by Kat @ 9:41:00 AM | |

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Vacation planning:

I'm planning my vacation for May right now, and it's shaping up to look like a fun trip. First, I'm going to fly to Chicago, then to Dublin on American's inaugural flight (they used to just offer codeshares operated by Aer Lingus). Then I'll drink my face off, most likely literally, for a couple of days in Ireland. Next I'm off to England to visit my little China Vagina and repair my face. Provided, of course, that she answers my fucking email. (That bitch.) After that, I'll be off to New York for a few days to visit my friends and drink my face off again, and play a few rounds of drunken grab-ass. Then I'll come home to sweet, sweet L.A. and recuperate whilst engaging in some home remodeling, all in preparation for Artwalk.

Shit, that vacation doesn't sound very relaxing. Oh well. I'll relax when I'm a dirty old lady.

Shut up. Fine. A dirtier old lady.

babbled by Kat @ 7:41:00 PM | |