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ook, ook, i'm naked!

Monday, December 09, 2002

Hi, I'm a squirrel monkey.

Kat gave me her login so I could update for her. I know, bad security practice! She is a bad lady. But since her fake last name on here is Monkey and I'm a squirrel monkey and I'm really cute, she thought it would be okay just this one time. Shh, don't tell her bosses at that software company where she works, they'll never forgive her for sharing her password, even if it's just the password to her not-at-all-work-related-but-she-updates-from-work-anyway personal site.

See, Kat is still on vacation. Nobody really knows where she is. She couldn't update while she was on vacation in Las Vegas because she didn't take her laptop and didn't have internet access even though there's that internet cafe on the strip right next to the guys who hand out all those cards for the escort services. So instead of taking a break from winning BIG TIME MONEY playing roulette and updating this sorry excuse for a 'blog, she called me up and said "Hey squirrel monkey, please go update for me because I am too busy winning big time money." She expects me to do this even though, as you can plainly see, I have a monkey on my back. Oh sure, I know it's just a tiny baby monkey, but that's how all these things always start out. Layne Staley probably started out with a really tiny monkey on his back and look where it got him.

So, really, since I'm a mischievous squirrel monkey and I have this password, I could do a bunch of damage while Kat is gone, like maybe changing the logo from a lady to a monkey, since everyone knows only shriners and monkeys ever wear a fez. Well, maybe sometimes a lady might wear a fez, but I don't care, I am a squirrel monkey and I want to see hot naked squirrel monkey action and not some lady. If I wanted to see hot ladies I would just peek into the showers at the zoo, because all of the monkey handlers will just strip down and shower in front of us monkeys. They always say, "Oh, it's okay, they're monkeys, it doesn't matter if we get all naked and soapy." Little do they know that the spider monkeys over in the next cage are secretly filming them for the latest "Girls Gone Wild" tape. Our tape may not have Snoop Dogg enticing girls to show their racks, but we've got hot soapy monkey handlers! I mean, really. It can't get better than that. The "Girls Gone Wild" people are already talking to those god damned little spider monkeys about a sequel.

I've got to go tend to this monkey on my back now, so I'll have to be going. Then I'm going out looking for Kat. Somebody said they last saw her near a video poker machine in some bar in Hollywood, mumbling something about how the machine should start giving her back her quarters because she got a royal flush. I think maybe that somehow they got the girl out of Vegas, but they couldn't get Vegas out of the girl.

babbled by Kat @ 9:51 AM |